Tuesday, February 7

Get a Job

The career-advancement backup plan

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The key to having a sustainable career is having what job gurus like to call transferable skills. So if that career in, say, business management doesn’t survive round three of layoffs, you might want to consider switching fields. Unlimited looks at two recent job postings.

The-Backup-Plan_FINALTHE JOB: Handbag Description Writer, Wholesale Handbags Purses Inc.
LOCATION: Telecommuting, preferably from the U.S., U.K., Canada or Australia.
THE RESPONSIBILITIES: “The right candidate should be passionate with fashion and more specifically with handbags/purses, have ability to do researches [sic] on the net and have potential in writing good articles.”
NOTICED: Real good speling [sic] and grammar not necessary. Only requires the “potential” to write good articles.
TRANSFERABLE POSITIONS: Expert salespeople, marketing whizzes, someone with a knowledge of plastics, anyone who owns a knock-off Louis Vuitton monogram purse.
AND WE QUOTE: “The right candidate will be offered not fake/replica handbags/purses in return of his/her work or can also ask for a salary.”
KEYWORDS:
Knowledge worker, fakey-fakeness, trailer trash, knock-off economy, knock-off knowledge worker, recessionista, faux fashionista

THE JOB: Key Account Manager (Outside Sales), Workopolis.com.
LOCATION: Toronto’s fashion district.
THE RESPONSIBILITIES: “Key Account Manager you will manage key customer relationships while developing strategic account plans that yield account retention and growth. Maximize volume and revenue in key assigned accounts by cultivating strong business relationships with senior executives.”
NOTICED: Tuition reimbursement (up to $5,000 each year) and a very respectable 5% company RSP contribution.
TRANSFERABLE POSITIONS: Expert salespeople, marketing whizzes, someone with a knowledge of sales and “solution selling.”
AND WE QUOTE: Workopolis wants an “Online Solution Wizard to Canada’s Largest Companies.”
KEYWORDS: Solution selling, adviser, strategic account, sales manager, sales, sell, selling, account, solution, solutions,
account management


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