The couple does their computer programming as a tag-team. “We project our computer screen on the wall, which can be seen from anywhere in the room. We take 15-minute turns and pass a wireless keyboard back and forth. If a baby is awake, the non-typing person can bounce, sling, rock, or walk with the baby while still keeping an eye on the computer.”
Danielle admits that this sort of arrangement requires a disciplined work ethic in order to succeed. Yet the benefits are immense: they don’t waste time commuting, both parents equally participate in childcare – “and if it’s a beautiful sunny day, we can go to the zoo with our kids.” Moreover, she adds, “from seeing us working, our children will understand that in life there is a balance between work and play.”
Nevertheless, the transition from a universally-admired workaholic to a more internally balanced social cliché is not always an easy one.
My partner remains in academia (though he writes his thesis from home and is playing with our daughter as I write these words) and, while he is well on his way to achieving society’s laurels, I remain the woman who dropped out of school for the sake of childbearing. This despite the fact that I do have a career of my own: freelance writing from home.
As Samantha and I pull into our neighbourhood, we contemplate different ways to describe our daughters’ brain-scrambling habits of screaming whenever they want something. We reject “annoying,” “bossy” and “spoiled” and consider “determined,” “self-actualized” and “vocally assertive” as substitutes.
“It’s a character trait I want to encourage,” says Samantha. “When she’s 16 and going to parties where there are drugs and boys, I want to know that she’s not afraid to say what she thinks, and ask for what she wants.”
As we stop in front of my house and I pull my skis out from the trunk of the car, we draw obvious and flattering comparisons: like mother, like daughter.
Category: Work
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